Come On Chemical-al-al-al-als! Or "Please Just Ferment".

Last night 2 AM: While trying to fall asleep, I listen to a soundtrack of the non-instrumental variety. I hear my cat crunching on kibble, my spaniel snoring, thunder rolling and my beer fermenting. I'm tired, if slightly wired, as the Belgian tripel I'm brewing tried to flood Sean's office about an hour before.

But let's start at the beginning, why am I brewing a Belgian tripel when I can go out and buy a bottle of Chimay or Golden Monkey? The answer is twofold: my love for cooking/baking and my "involvement" in chemistry ( I say "involvement" as chemistry and I aren't in love at the moment. As facebook would say "it's complicated").

Sean knew that I was yearning to brew, so for my birthday, he bought me the appropriate supplies and ingredients (a kit for beginners, so you don't have to worry about mis-measuring). Sean and I decide the only way to brew beer is to drink beer while brewing. We head to World of Beer on Gulf to Bay where I pick up some Victory Golden Monkey.

Brewing starts off with cleaning, lots of cleaning and sanitizing, as bacteria will contaminate and create off-flavors in your beer. Next you steep the grains. In my case crushed aromatic malt. These were allowed to steep for 2o minutes in a muslin bag from which a pleasant sour-doughy smell wafts. Sean thinks it stinks. Sean is so wrong so often.

The water is then brought to a rolling boil and the malt extracts, maltodextrin, and candi sugar are added. The hops are added according to a "Brew Day Schedule" and everything boils and fills Sean's apartment with a less pleasant scent, more sour but with a tinge of molasses.

All of this gives you a liquid known as "wort". My wort looks kinda like pond scum. Before adding the yeast, the wort must be cooled to about 75 degrees F (a decrease of about 125 degrees). The instructions suggest a sink of ice water...that lasts 2 minutes, as all the ice melts and the water heats up. Sean suggests a bathtub of ice water. That works but it takes a while. I'm a little worried about contamination...

Finally, the yeast is added...not much is happening. Come on yeast, eat that sugar! Nom nom nom... I attach the airlock and shove the carboy under desk so my yeast can eat in peace.

Fast forward to 24 hours later, and the yeast have definitely been gorging themselves. There is quite a head on my tripel, and now I'm a little worried about over-flow. Yup, thar she blows. A bucket is placed under the carboy, and sanitized foil covers the opening while I clean the air-lock and sean rigs up the blow-off tube. I think the doom is avoided, but I still worry about pesty bacteria. One good thing, Sean and I notice that the overflow smells like...beer.

So as I try to sleep, with my dog snoring and my cat crunching, I comfort myself with the the thought that, even though this beer may possess "off-flavors", at least I know it will contain ethanol. Which is pretty awesome.

It should also be noted that I woke up with the Willy Nelson/Toby Keith duet Whisky for My Men, Beer for My Horses stuck in my head...what does it MEAN?